Now, if I could just fine a postage stamp..

Posted: February 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear God,
I’m writing to you today to let you know,
I’ve tried to live as a regular person down here, time and again. It always seems to fall apart the same way. I’m sure that you have seen me fall to all the normal trappings. I could list them all, but I know that you don’t need me to do that. Your memory is far better than mine. I have disappointed people who trusted me to be whatever they expected me to be. I have come up short and let people down over and over. It seems failure is inevitable. That’s where you come in.
Through the decades that I have been walking, or should I say stumbling, through this place, I have been striving to understand what goes on behind the scenes, as I attempt to play the part of just another typical person. I am sorry that I have not been to church in so long. I always get so frustrated by the typical politics and gossiping in the pews and also the misinterpretations of your word, by those standing behind the pulpits. It just makes me want to scream. I feel as though I just don’t fit in. I have read your words so many times over that I can see them come to life out in the physical world I’m surrounded by.
I know you are the reason I see these types of dynamics playing out and wish I could make others see just how beautiful I find it, that you are so generous as to allow someone like me to comprehend such mysteries. On the outside, I must truly appear as psychotic and deranged to people as I try to explain the things I see happening. I’m sure you understand what I mean, as you must have surely experienced this type of thing when you walked the shores of Galilee, speaking great truths through metaphors and parables. You could have just said things bluntly, but then, people don’t like black and white. So you were forced to speak in cryptic language; talking about roots and branches, the sheep and the goats, the oil and the wine. It must have been a tremendously sorrowful journey for you, to give every ounce of energy to try and help people ‘see’ how things work… I bet your mother worried incessantly over you. I bet your friends thought you would invariably find trouble for speaking things that were sure to be seen as in stark contrast to the accepted reasoning of the day. I understand why you got so angry that day in the temple, as the tables started to turn and I know why you wept over your dear friend, Lazarus. That must have been horrible for you. Being, that it is apportioned for a man to die, but once, and you had to subject him to it twice, for the benefit of those who were lacking faith. Oh, how a simple two-word sentence can contain so much…I’ve often wondered, Lord: this fire that lives in me, like a roaring lion, the fact that I am a singer, the meaning of ‘Judah’, understanding structures and wanting so bad to warn others before they are lost… Did you write my life to include being a carpenter, a fisherman and musician on purpose, just so I could relate to you the way I do? If you did, I would like to thank you, even though I realize that my future here is surely going to include a cross of its own, for publicly stating the things I do and calling those things I see as evil, as such. I may not know the day or the hour of your return, but I can recognize and identify the specific types of plants and weeds growing in the garden that’s about ready for harvest. Though I seem hateful or angry to people around me, I know you understand that I am only frustrated at my own lack of ability to successfully relate the message to those I know and care for. I know that some day, they will understand too, why I am the way I am. As far as my own life is concerned, and the personal satisfaction and happiness I attain while here on earth, I want you to know:
Though I gain nothing of earthly substance and lose all on account of my witness to you,
It is enough.

Cya soon.

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